Why Some People Can’t Find Love
Solitude has become a sort of pandemic despite the massive development of social networks.
About 50 % of mature people suffer from finding their partner. We marked up our minds to see what the reasons are that avoid people from having a good and long relationship.
Below We will mention 6 of the most known real reasons why people are still alone.
the partnership is idealized by you
Everyone has their own vision of an ideal relationship: a romantic movie may have inspired someone and a book might inspire someone else. However, this is the dream that people must make these stories of love come true.
For instance: sadly, delusions as often took place to Bridget Jones, are often crushed by reality. There is no such thing as an ideal relationship, and no great couples are there.
What to do: you must know that a true person is your partner, not a character from everyone else, they will have their flaws.
You don’t have self-respect.
The cornerstone of every relationship, even the romantic kind, is respecting yourself and other people. Can you call fall in love with a person who does not value himself? Really? Most certainly, this relation will be depended on feelings of guilt and will do little good for either partner.
For instance: in the Holiday, Kate Winslet’s character was in love with an individual who used her for her loyalty and skill. When she firmly resolved to rid herself of her love addiction, everything changed. She changed her surroundings, found new interests, and found a new passion for the people around her.
What to do in the beginning, to motivate yourself when you are down and depressed, you need to find your own internal support. This may be your successes, your hobbies, your skills, or your guiding values, whatever is important to you and whatever makes you see your own worth. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your significance.
You violate other people’s private space.
There is an idea that methods of coercion can help fix a relationship. But when someone wants to change us, nobody likes to be exploited, or even worse.
For instance: in Gone Girl, Rosamund Pike’s character decides to punish her husband for cheating so much that she made him her marionette, forcing him to go through more and more difficulties. After she returned, of course, she found that get husband’s affections and faith had vanished and that he was afraid of his own life.
What to do: you should behave within those limits in every relationship. They end where other individuals ‘boundaries begin. You should make a decision if you do not like your partner’s actions and they know about it but still do not want to change anything: stay with them or leave. It is difficult to change a person who does not want to change.
You can’t forgive.
They are all making mistakes, and you probably have them too. But still, when you make a mistake, you cannot get your trust back, even though you are absolutely sure it is never going to happen again. Often when judging other people, we are too rigid and not strict enough when measuring ourselves.
For instance: It was very hard for Rachel in friends to forgive Ross’s cheating on her. For all the reasons, they were attracted to each other but they only forgave each other after almost 10 years and got back together.
What to do: Never try to push yourself to accept things that you disagree with, but it may be helpful to withhold judgment at the same time. Even if you feel incredibly annoyed by what the other individual did, let them try again if you are invested in the relationship. Give them another opportunity.
You are not ready for a relationship.
We are used to treating love as the greatest pleasure and happiness. But often, before developing a relationship, it’s more important for people to deal with more pressing issues.
For instance: This is one of the ideas that is based on the autobiography of Cheryl Strayed in the movie wild. In order to get over her divorce, the loss of her mother, and make peace with Herself, the girl walked 18000 km alone. She ended up getting married afterward, in the same place where her journey ended.
What to do: Sometimes, you just need to be alone, particularly before you start a relationship again to be able to fix everything that is wrong and find happiness. This can also be easier than when you are having a rough time sitting on someone’s back. This is how your will is formed by you.
You are fixated on yourself.
It is known that people who are egotistical are one of the key reasons why people split up. This can really ruin the love between them and their partner if a person thinks only about themselves and their own needs. Even if this person feels they are doing something for the duo’s good.
For instance, in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the only reason the girl’s actions did not drive the guy away was that he was trying to win a get to bet and keep the relationship going for as long as possible. When she forgets about her “wishes” and became a regular person, he actually fell in love with her.
What to do: Selfish people must realize that, particularly, if they want a good relationship, the world does not revolve around them.