Here are the Biggest Mistakes Everyone Makes in Las Vegas

Las Vegas
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Here are the Biggest Mistakes Everyone Makes in Las Vegas

Who doesn’t love Las Vegas? The neon lights. The non-stop action. The massive enterprise is designed with the sole purpose of separating you from your hard-earned cash. Smart people enjoy Vegas much more than everyone else – mostly because they refuse to fall into common missteps like the ones we’ve outlined for you here.

“I bet I can meet a nice girl in this free newspaper I found at Arby’s”

Yes, and she’s just working her way through college. This is why your first date cost $300. Per hour. With no kissing on the mouth.

“If I bet more, I’ll win back everything I lost. And fast!”

Strangely enough, there are betting “systems” that tell you to do just that. We’re no experts, but we have the massive ATM service charges to prove that it is NOT a good idea.

“I’m just going to head to up the room and rest my eyes for a few”

These words are universally uttered right before a panicked call to Southwest Airlines looking for the next flight after yours (and three after it you just missed). What’s that? Did you drove here? Good for you

“I’ve been playing for hours at this $3 BlackJack table. Why hasn’t room been comp’d?”

Not sure if you’ve been to Vegas for a while (like say, since the Internet was a thing) but the fact of the matter is that bozos like you and me can’t just walk into Caesar’s, throw down a couple of C-notes at the Craps table and expect the keys to the Presidential Suite anymore. Now and days, you need to be a Chinese real estate magnate dropping 50k an hour at Baccarat, and maybe just maybe you’ll get a couple of comped tickets to the buffet.

“I’m going to split these 10’s and make even MORE money”

Again, please don’t do this. Take your 20 and your respectable winnings and call it a day. If you get greedy and split those 10’s, all you’re going to raise is the ire of that shady biker across the table from you. He’s been nursing that Jack and Coke for hours and maybe packing heat.

“This stripper is really into me!”

The truism of the exotic dancing business: how much the women get paid is dependent upon how much they make you feel like a king. You are not that charming and/or interesting. And the dancers? They hate you. Every single one of them. (And they don’t care what hotel you’re staying at.)